Who we are is simple, we are messengers of Lord Vonshlecoonares. We spend our time from dawn till dusk spreading the message of Von, Handing out apples in our local community, and coming home for praise and worship, before our little heads hit the pillow at 7:43 at night. 

While we may be very dedicated, spreading the word of Von does not have to look like our routine. Give a fresh, juicy, apple to a child in need. Tell your co-worker to read the word of Von to find strength through his third divorce. Pray in meditation for your local community. All acts of kindness and praise matter. 

We believe anyone and everyone can live a pure and true life. We believe accepting the word of Von is the first step to do so. He sees all, he saves all. Von and The Church of Vonshleizum are here for you on your journey.