Who Is Vonshlecoonares?
Back then, his passion was not beetroot, it was the apple trees behind the farm. He thought they were beautiful, juicy, and delicious. One day, the local school children took a trip to the beetroot farm. Von was hesitant, as there were many poisonous apples and plants in the area. Unfortunately, a young child had got his dainty little hands on a green apple. A poisonous one. Von ran to him and tried to stop him, but it was too late. Von held his lifeless frame as all the town folk gathered, blaming Von for the death of the boy.
They began to hate him and his apples, nicknaming him “Apfel junge” (Apple boy), and harassing him. Throwing food and, sometimes, blunt objects at him every time he went into town. His home he shared with his parents was vandalized many times. Von had enough. Von, being a selfless being, did not want his parents to suffer any longer on his behalf. Von had made the choice to end his own life.
He went to the apple trees, taking time to enjoy the things he loved most in this world. As he was getting ready to tie a noose around one, he took an apple into his hand and took a bite, realizing at that moment that HE was not the problem, the surrounding mortals were. They had their eyes closed to the truth, their emotions and feelings towards him were not his problem. Von quickly came up with a plan as the nubs of his horns began to grow atop his head.
Von wrote his pen pals: Ceadda, Hrambert, Ingólfr, Pippin, and Dudda. Telling them to spread the good word across the lands that he was transforming, and he was coming. He was going to save all those with free and true love in their hearts. He stayed in the forest for 40 days and 40 days, honing his powers and transforming into true form.
Von stood atop the tallest building in the village as all the towns people gathered. “Sie alle haben mich abgelehnt. Sie sind alle schwachsinnige Würmer. denn ich bin der böse geworden, von dem du gedacht hast, dass er es ist, und noch viel mehr. Ich bin Von. Ich bin Gott.“ (You all rejected me. You are all moronic worms. I've become the evil you taught me to be, and so much more. I am Von. I am God.) With that, fell forwards into the crowd…
The town's people were in pure disbelief and were clearly shaken up. Children were screaming and crying. Confused and disturbed, everybody looked at the pools of blood surrounding his mangled body. The crowd became silent as something began to happen, everything went silent. Then, that’s when they saw it, His spirit. They saw it rise from his small frame, it was covered in black fur, a tail, horns protruding from his skull, a long pointed tongue. He was half man and half goat. The people gasped in shock, everyone was petrified. “Bestrafung!” (Punishment!) his spirit screamed as he assented into the heavens, leaving his followers behind to spread the word. His spirit lives on, and he is inside each and every one of us. He is still with us today, he is a savior for the outcasts and anyone with empathy and compassion. He is the light.
He was reborn in 2004 to Church founders Daylik and Natura, They have been raising him up to hone his true potential and have been giving him all the love and appreciation he has always deserved. He is filled with nothing but love for human beings, those who choose to be kind and not cruel. All he asks is that you trust and believe in true and free love. If you’d like to honor him and keep your temple clean and pure, eat your daily apple and wish him good vibes.